The Craze of Going Abroad

It is distasteful for me to go abroad for studies / jobs, staying away from parents, homeland, relatives, friends and experience of joy and togetherness during festivals, get-togethers and other occasions. My mom and even grand mother often ask me to go abroad, work there for at least three years, earn money and come and settle down here in India. Also there are few cases where parents send their children for their bragging. I wonder how they can do that.

Here my discussion is only about people staying abroad for a very long duration and settling there. Foreign visits to stay there for some time (max one year) and getting back to your homeland is the different case. Foreign opportunities will give exposure in many ways. I agree with this. But, always there is one question in my mind… Don’t we have enough opportunities for higher studies or jobs in India?

Past – People (not all) came from villages to cities for better opportunities all the way because there are no sufficient resources in the villages.
Present – There is a mad rush of people (not all) from cities and even smaller towns to go abroad for higher studies and better employment opportunities, more so in the last decade.
Future – How will the future be? Where will we go or what will we look at in the coming years?

Here are the two contexts:

  • Going abroad and settling down there for ten or more years. I don’t want to talk much about this group because I don’t know what makes them happy leaving their own homeland, parents, friends etc. For me, these are selfish people who care little for their family and friends. While saying this, I don’t mean that they have to live for other but intend to say that the knowledge gained and expertise gained is of no use if it is not shared with your acquaintances and utilised for the betterment of your homeland. People who have settled abroad with their parents is a different case, at least. But, how many of the Indians are doing that?
  • Studying in US and working there for few days and coming back to India and settling down here. Here I have a question whether one can get the time spent in studying, working, etc back to spend that time with and for parents / near and dear ones? I am talking emotional. I know that. But, this is the fact I am talking about.

A girl’s life starts with lots of burdens-begins with studying in school days, rushing up in college days, and pressure with higher studies, working for few years abroad, then marry some guy and go with him. I have a question here. Where is the time for a girl to have a pleasure in spending few hours of her life and when will she be a supporting hand for her parents’ who gave her life?

My sister, whom I love so much, has recently gone to US for pursuing her Masters degree. As she went there to fulfill her ambition of studying in the US, I could not stop her. But, I miss her soooo much. L I wish she comes back soon. Wish you my dear!

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30 Comments on “The Craze of Going Abroad”

  1. Ramakrishna Says:

    Seems your thought/willingness to stay close to loved ones has indeed overshadowed your understanding about people going abroad – be it for pursuing higher studies or better job opportunities; Every individual has his/her own interests,aims and ambitions, and spending time with family and friends is not the only thing in life (I’m not downplaying the importance of family and friends). One has to sacrifice things like those (spending time with loved ones around) if one has to achieve what he/she wants (becoming rich/working abroad etc. It all depends on what you want to achieve and how?

    • shonakshi Says:

      yes. i agree. just because you have experienced staying”away” does not mean that you should tell the others not to “fly away”..
      it purely matters on the “choice” and “circumstance” my friend.. if given a choice to go abroad and live, i would definitely give it a shot. and its not about ignoring my “loved ones” -its about “my” life and how i deal with it. if i am staying away frm them it does not mean tht i am downplaying our relationships… (only a few do tht and we can do nothing abt it)
      so pls change ua mis-conception!!!

      • pramodasanthi Says:

        The post is presents my thoughts, just my opinion. This is not mis-conception. Ofcourse it depends on ones personal choice. I do agree with that.

        But here, I wanted people to think about number of hours/ days/ months / years they miss their beloved ones and motherland and think about the time passed which doesn’t come back for us.

  2. pramodasanthi Says:

    Ya. I know everyone will have their own interests. Here I am telling my own opinion about flying abroad and staying away with loved ones for a long time. Thats it. This seems to me like an old saying “Until the bird’s wings are not strong enough, little bird did not know what to do. But, it will begin to fly away as well as it could”. I don’t mean that it should not fly, I mean that it should not fly away.

  3. aalasanthosh Says:

    It all boils down to what someone wants to do with their time at a particular point of time in their life.

    Personally, even I do not like leaving my country. But I am interested in visiting new places and countries.

  4. lazybug Says:

    Those who go away from India and start detesting the country just for the heck of it, are better off staying away from India. But there are several people out there who do a lot for the country and their families back home. The Indian diaspora reimbursed as much as USD 25 Bn in 2007 to their home land or as you say ‘loved ones’. So, even though technically they ‘fly away’, they handle the responsibilities well. I don’t see anything wrong in staying away, some times it’s a matter of choice, some times it’s a matter of compulsion.

  5. vinay Says:

    Stop Stop Stop!

    1. Why did you leave Genius Grammar school and join SPG Media? – Were you selfish for more money? Didn’t you betray your first employer?

    Well, if the answer is yes then the argument ends and your whole post stands null and void. If it is no, then I reckon, you will have to think a lot before answering and supporting that you were not after the good money offered by SPG.

    Same is the case with a number of people. Just better opportunities and huge money in short time and status, etc. which tempt people to go abroad.

    2. You work for an MNC and you are asked to go abroad for few years. You have no other option but to go. You cannot say no if you wish to continue in that company. Once you go there, you might find better opportunities and you may wish to continue.

    This said, I believe that one must not forget his parents and should ensure that they are safe.

  6. vinay Says:

    You have to leave something to gain something. As far as people going abroad to study, it will only help the people here by lessening the competition.

    As Akhil said, we get a lot of money back here. It is important while MNCs are minting money here by selling their goods, we get money from their homeland.

  7. pramodasanthi Says:

    @Akhil: I am not talking only about taking the responsibility of the family; I am also talking about missing the family members and family members missing that person.

    @Vinay: Dear Vinay, I left Genius Grammar school only because that is not my cup of tea. And one more thing I want to tell you is that though I left the job from Genius, it doesn’t mean that I am not with them. I regularly meet them, help them whenever they require and have pleasure in spending the time with all that staff members and children..

    In the same way, I don’t mean, one should not go abroad. I mean, though they go, they should come back soon.

    I am talking from relations’ point of view and you are talking from financial point of view.

  8. vinay Says:

    What is soon to you? One year or Two years or ten years.
    No one argues the point that one should spare time for his parents and loved ones. But this shouldn’t stop them from foregoing better opportunities.

  9. lazybug Says:

    “I am not talking only about taking the responsibility of the family; I am also talking about missing the family members and family members missing that person.”

    There’s nothing wrong in missing your family / family member. It only enriches the bond. And comparatively, distance is a small cost to pay. Technology helps you keep in touch very well nowadays.

  10. pramodasanthi Says:

    I never asked someone to stop going somewhere and stop looking for better opportunity. Of course every person will and should look for better opportunity. My whole point is while aiming for better opportunity one should not forego the loved ones or precious time spent with the loved ones. This is just my view.

  11. lazybug Says:

    You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

    If one goes according to what you suggest, the only way out is to either plan to work for a very short duration or take your family along.

  12. pramodasanthi Says:

    Here I am talking about Eating the cake what you have and enjoying the taste of it in the right time instead of having it and not enjoying the taste of it till you get realised that it is not there for you.

    I am not suggesting anyone here. I am just telling my views.

  13. lazybug Says:

    What I meant was: Life gives you some choices to make but some others are forced upon you. In this case staying away might not be in your control.

    You can’t just say I am ‘telling my views’. You are asking questions in your post, they will, obviously, attract answers.

    Anyway, this is more or less what all girls do; talk for talking’s sake and expect people to just keep quite. Guys can’t keep quite…a question will attract an answer. And girls can’t take the answers.

    A small lesson in psychology that. You can thank me later.

  14. pramodasanthi Says:

    “You can’t just say I am ‘telling my views’. You are asking questions in your post, they will, obviously, attract answers.”
    I am not asking any questions to anyone Akhil. Those are the questions for which I couldnot find the answer. But, I am taking your answer as your opinion.

    “Anyway, this is more or less what all girls do; talk for talking’s sake and expect people to just keep quite. Guys can’t keep quite…a question will attract an answer. And girls can’t take the answers.”
    Haha. I think you are a great Psychologist. But, you are wrong Akhil. If girl asks a question, guy should answer that. When girl don’t ask a question, she won’t take the answer (because she is very busy always with something or the other work) 😉

  15. Bhamoti Says:

    Hey Prasanthi … I dont take this blog up as a debate … I fully agree with you on this line …. after I completed my PG, I found all my friends were moving out to univs abroad just for the heck of it …. just to show people that they can also go abroad!! …but there are so many institutions in India that we can be proud of .. and can pursue our studies there …. I dont know what they really get out of going abroad

  16. pramodasanthi Says:

    Ya you are right Bhamoti 🙂

  17. aalasanthosh Says:

    Great, so what have you all decided here 🙂

  18. lazybug Says:

    “When girl don’t ask a question, she won’t take the answer”

    That’s exactly what I said, isn’t it? But you don’t tell anywhere, or even indicate that you are ‘not asking the questions’. You are just putting them in words, that’s more than an invitation.

    Bhamoti: “there are so many institutions in India that we can be proud of .. and can pursue our studies there …. I dont know what they really get out of going abroad” There’s a reason why people from all over the world head to develop countries for education…those countries have better education systems. Getting into foreign colleges is easier than getting into several top institutes of India, because the competition is lesser. Look at how many people write CAT in India…it is by far the toughest exam clear. Reason: 200000 people competing for 1500 seats. If India had more such colleges, may be people would stop going abroad and the reverse, people coming to India for education would begin to happen.

    Then, some girl somewhere in the US would write a similar post.

  19. prity Says:

    Some are happy or may not be as affected with leaving family behind but for some family is much more important. To look closely I think its the matter of following your aspirations.Its important to be happy and to a large extent your happiness depends upon the choices you make.

  20. Anonymous Says:

    I came across this blog accidentally and wish to make a comment on this topic. To all the Indians out there abroad and foreign country aspirants. Please realize that all the beautiful foreign countries (the US, UK, Australia or Germany) that you are yearing to go to are not built magically with a wave of the wand, instead they are built on sweat, toil, genius AND nationalistic thinking. I urge every Indian who wants to leave for foreign shores to just keep one thing with him/her, besides the passport of course, and that is a sense of being Indian. A lot too many people think in terms of pettyminded material gains and narrow parochialism. On the world stage, the image of Indians has been continually taking a beating. Individual material returns are very shortlived and can easily be eroded, but a wholistic worldview is much more beneficial. So, it is necessary for more Indians to go abroad, stay for a short while so that they realize this important fact, in the age of globalization. Also, younger people can study, work for sometime, come back and build their country on the same lines as the people of the developed countries have done for their country. But that is just one of the options available to them. But please think of the BIG picture.

  21. Vijay Kumar Madugula Says:

    Touching post and very interesting comments. As one whose younger brother is in US for last 13 years and whose daughter is preparing to go abroad next year, I fully empathize with your thoughts and share your feelings similarly. Families think their kids are bettering their prospects for career,marriage with a foreign stint. I know it is no big deal now but the glamour creates the clamour! Thanks for your fabulous blog entries.

  22. krishna Says:

    I felt ur blog is straight from ur heart .. and i like that natural feelings on blog …

  23. pramodasanthi Says:

    @Santhosh: Not yet concluded

    @Akhil: Even you cant take the answer when you didn’t ask the question

    @Anonymous: My post opposes only about people going abroad and staying there for a long time / for ever and not about enjoying the beauty of the other countries.

    @Vijay Kumar: Thank you for having the same opinion

    @Krishna: Thank you for the comment

    @All: Thank you all for your comments and Sorry for my late replies.

  24. Rahul Atlury Says:

    You are right! I have always tried to make people understand and pleased them to come back to india oneday.

    Life is short! And we got to give back something to our society that will make the comming generations more caring and kind-hearted…

    keep blogging…
    Rahul Atlury

  25. prachi Says:

    see,opinions differ.we should stick to our principles.if that is the case ther is no one to stop you.but if you know that you might get lured by foreign amenities.stay at your homeland and study.

  26. i dont understand why cant people just go there learn the tactics of developed nations ,return back to india and start doing the same thing for our development.

  27. pramodasanthi Says:

    Yeah! Atleast in some way it will be useful for our country.

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